Trick or Treat!

Good evening, kiddies...

It is that time of year again. The black cats are hissing, the goblins are gobbling, and the spirits of the dead are roaming the earth once more.

As well as pint-sized versions of the Avengers, apparently...

Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays. When I was a kid, it was because I got to play around with pumpkins, experiment with awesome costumes and go wandering around the neighborhood and collecting free candy!

CANDY!

Nowadays, though, my love of the holiday has diminished a little bit. Not because I can't dress up anymore, oh, no, I still do that. But people get just a little bit freaked out if you go wandering the neighborhood trick-or-treating when you're older than about 12, so...

But I think the biggest draw of this holiday is that it is, in essence, an anti-holiday. Most other holidays, such as Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas and Valentine's Day, are all about bringing people together, joining in friendship and family, and basking in the warm fuzzies of the season.

Halloween, on the other hand, is about getting the pants scared off of you. And I'm not talking about the 'jump-out-of-a-closet-and-shout-BOO' type of scared, either. When I say scare, I'm talking about the deep, dark chill that runs through your very bones...the claws that reach into the deepest recesses of your mind and awaken your most primal fears...I'm talking raw, unadulterated terror.

The 'cover-your-head-with-a-pillow-while-clutching-your-blankie'
kind of terror.

Truth be told, it is rather difficult in this age to evoke such feelings. Horror writers and movie makers are mainly focused on shock factor, because it is so easy to evoke a reaction in the audience. It takes a true master of the craft to spark real fear.

Now, I am in no way a master of the craft. But I do like to consider myself a student of it. I present to you now, a simple philosophical question on fear. And one that chills me to the bone...

What are we afraid of?

Many classic horror icons and other disturbing creatures share common characteristics. Pale skin, dark, sunken eyes, elongated faces, sharp teeth, and the like. These images inspire horror and revulsion in many, and with good reason. The characteristics shared by these faces are imprinted in the human mind.

Many things frighten humans instinctively. The fear is natural, and does not need to be reinforced in order to terrify. The fears are species-wide, stemming from dark times in the past when lightning could mean the burning of your tree home, predators could be hiding in the dark, heights could make poor footing lethal, and a spider or snake bite could mean certain death.

The question you have to ask yourself is this:

What happened, deep in the hidden eras before history began, that could affect the entire human race so evenly as to give the entire species a deep, instinctual, and lasting fear of pale beings with dark, sunken eyes, razor sharp teeth, and elongated faces?

Sleep tight, boys and girls...

Rrraarrgghh! (Panda Roar)

Life sucks, boys and girls. It makes me so incredibly angry, and hurt, and sad, all at the same time. If it's not my love life, then it's work, or my landlord, or my roommate, or my nonexistent social life, or any one of a hundred other things. I'm so tired of it all. It's days like this that make me want to jump off the Water Street Bridge.

But then I realize that it's too short a fall, and I'd probably just wind up
breaking my leg or something, which would make life suck even more.

I thought that moving would have alleviated some of my stress. Instead, it's increased it tenfold. I've been late on rent nearly every month since I've been out here, because I don't make enough at my job to cover it. (Wisconsin has that fucking stupid law about 'federal minimum wage not applying to people that earn tips' thing. Incidentally, I didn't think it was possible to take home a paycheck for $0.00, but that's another story) Finding a second job is just as difficult (if not more difficult) than finding my first, which is really pissing me off, since it's about the time of year where people start hiring for seasonal help. They'll hire any slack-jawed idiot that can spell his name correctly on the application, but they won't hire me...

Seriously? He has more appeal than I do? Seriously?

My roommate, the only person in this state that I would call my friend, is driving me out of my mind. When she's around, that is. Most of the time, I'm stuck trying to entertain myself. "But wait," I hear you asking your computer screen, "why don't you just go out and do something, make some new friends?" To which I answer, "See my above paragraph about not having money." Going out and doing something in this town (being a college town after all) mainly involves going to the bars or a frat party and getting wasted off your ass anyway.

Not really my idea of fun...

I suppose a big part of why I'm feeling this way is that there's been a couple of things that hit me pretty hard these past few weeks. A lot harder than I was expecting...

I feel terrible, for a whole host of reasons. I'm not sure if putting things to screen have helped, either; it just seemed to have churned things up. I guess it's therapeutic to get it all out, but I still feel like shit. I'll probably survive, but right now it doesn't feel like it.

This post is a little depressing, I suppose. Sorry. Here, I'll leave you with something fun:

A fish tank. Get it? *sigh* They can't all be gems...

The Ashes of West Chester

Ahoy, boys and girls, Captain Panda here!

So, a little more than a year ago, I got this idea for a movie. I'm not entirely certain what it was that sparked the idea in the first place, but I wanted to make a movie about a Zorro or Robin Hood-type character, but make the character female instead.

And starring my friend Tree as the main character. But that's another post...

Well, I am happy to report that, after a little over a year, I have finally finished the plot summary!

Well, that's not very nice...

Now, hold on there, Jethro. Before you go making fun of me for taking a year to write a summary, lemme tell you how I got here:

When I originally started writing this movie (which I've titled 'The Ashes of West Chester') my original idea was to just write a straightforward adventure movie. As I sat down to write it, however, it became pretty clear that that particular plan wasn't going to work. The story wasn't going anywhere, the adventure movie idea has been done to death, and I couldn't figure out how to fix it.

So, I shelved the project for a while, all the while doing research and trying to figure out how to spin the project in a new and interesting direction. I delved deeper into the characters and their relationships. As I did that, something very interesting started to emerge.

No, Cthulhu, I said 'emerge,' not 'awaken.' Silly elder god...

What came from this exercise was something much more than a simple adventure story. It became something driven by relationships as opposed to story, and became something much darker than what I had originally planned. I sat down and hammered out a basic story, and what I got was the full outline of 'The Ashes of West Chester.'

Now that I've finished the summary, I get to start actually writing the darn thing. Which means I get to put away the computer, and pull out...

Cue angelic chorus.

This beautiful machine is a 1963 Olivetti Underwood Lettera 33 manual typewriter originally owned by my dad.

I like to call this the 'legacy plate.'

The really cool thing about this (I just found this out not long ago) is that the Lettera 33 is the exact same model of typewriter that Francis Ford Coppola used to write the screenplay for 'The Godfather.'

Looks like my typewriter has a lot to live up to. We'll see what comes of it...

Until next time, boys and girls!

Yeah, it's pretty much like that...

Eats, Shoots, and Leaves.

Courtesy of the webcomic xkcd. If you haven't read it, go do that. But not right now...read my blog first.

Ahoy, Citizens! It is I, Captain Panda, the world's worst superhero, defender of truth, justice and all things anachronistic, here to regale you with stories of my life!

Ahem...sorry about that, I tend to wax dramatic from time to time. I meant to say 'Hello there, and welcome to my new blog!' Unlike that other blog that I do (this one here,) this blog (Eats Shoots and Leaves) is more of a traditional blog, all about me and what goes on in that crazy, mixed-up land that I call my mind.

So...where to begin...

Concerning Hobbits...

Wait...no...damn...sorry, I did it again. Hang on, I'll get it...


Concerning Myself:

My name is Brad (Codename: Panda). I am, at the moment, 26 years old. I come originally from Minnesota, but am living in Wisconsin for now. (More on that later.) In the real world, I work for Red Lobster and am studying Digital Film & Video Production.

For two months out of the year, I spend my weekends at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival, doing silly things in costume and making magic happen. I have been out there for four years now, and in that time it has become much more than a job, or a hobby. It has become my home. I have met some of my closest friends out there, and have even met a couple of potential mates out there as well (note the word potential...maybe I'll get to that later). I live for this place more than anything else in my life, because it is the one place that I have felt the most loved and the most welcomed.

Yes, even when I'm doing stupid things like angering the King...

It's also where I got the nickname 'Captain Panda.' But you don't want to hear that story...

When I'm not working, and when I'm not out at the Fest, I like to sing, act, and write short stories and screenplays (obviously, if I'm studying film) I also enjoy general nerdery, reading, building models and other craft stuffs. Oh, and cooking. I love cooking.

Why, yes, that is a cookbook signed by Alton Brown, my favorite TV chef,
who I met at the Mall of America where he was signing copies of
'Feasting on Asphalt: the River Run.' How nice of you to notice.

So, that's the basics of me. Now, on to other things.

On living in Wisconsin:

About a year ago, I was living in my parents' house in Minnesota. We decided, through mutual fed-up-ness, that I needed to move out. Well, as much as I would have loved to find a one-bedroom in the Twin Cities, my financial situation pretty much made that impossible.

As luck would have it at the time, I knew someone that was going to school in Wisconsin, and was willing to take me in on a two-bedroom apartment once her lease was up. (Yes, she's a she, and no, it's not like that.) So, come June 1, I gathered up all my stuff, loaded it in a truck and hauled myself out to Wisconsin.

It's the alcoholic capital of the United States, I swear...

For the first few months there, it was all right. It was kinda nice to get away from my old life in MN and have a minor reset for a while.

Then came MN Ren Fest in August. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, for seven weekends out of the year, I'm going to be in Shakopee, MN for the Renaissance Festival. For a while, I was okay. I was wanting to hang out with people and do things outside of Fest, but I couldn't because I lived in Wisconsin. Annoying, but not really a big deal. But then came the last weekend, and the week afterwards. Something happened. (As I said, maybe I'll get to that more specifically later) And it made me hate living here.

Okay, maybe hate is the wrong word. In and of itself, Wisconsin is not a bad place to live. But my life is in Minnesota, and this incident slapped me in the face with that fact. At the moment, I feel like I'm in exile, away from my life, my friends and my loves. I will be coming back home to Minnesota in May, but that's seven months from now. I don't know how well I'll survive until then...

I'll get by with a little help from...

My Friends:

I stole this from one of my friend's blogs. Sorry, Winter.

My friends are awesome. I don't tell them that as much as I probably should, and I don't get to see most of them nearly as much as I want to, but they're awesome.

When I was in school, I didn't have much in the way of friends. Sure, there were people that I hung out with during the day and at after-school activities, but never really anyone that I spent time with outside of that. Now that I've grown up, I've been lucky enough to find true friends. I still don't have many of them, but I care for the ones I have more than anything else in the world, and will do anything for them. I am quick to forgive those that seek it, and I do not hold grudges. 

Whether they know it or not, my friends are what support me through times that are tough, and I am thankful for them. Which leads me to...

Love, or something like it:

My love life is...well, it's pretty much nonexistent. I've only ever had two actual relationships in my life, and neither one lasted more than six months.

I thought I had something, though. At the end of this year's Festival season, I thought I was going to be involved with a beautiful girl, who seemed to be into me.

Well, turns out I was wrong. Not about her being into me, but about being involved with her. Due to extraneous circumstances (i.e., me living in fucking Wisconsin) we're not together. Don't get me wrong: we're still friends, we still talk, it wasn't like our relationship collapsed. We're just not a couple.

Story of my life, really; 'I like you, but...' There's always a 'but...'

This is what sparked the whole 'I hate it here' thing. Outside of the fact that if I were living back in MN I *might* have been with her, even if there were some other reason for not being together, I would have been able to go hang out with some of my friends, have some fun, and distract myself from my bruised heart. Since I live in bum fuck nowhere, and have no friends out here outside my roommate, who is usually far too busy to hang out, I was left with my own mind for company, which was entirely unhelpful and unhealthy.

I'm starting to feel like I'm in exile out here; like my life is continuing without me. I can't wait to go home.

In the end...

That's it for the first post. You know me a little better now, I hope. I'd like to leave you with something though, before I go. Until next time, boys and girls...